Of Skateboards and Kneepads
by zephtastic
Summary: Drabble, Kirk/McCoy McCoy is subsequently displeased when he learns that Jim's been teaching Joanna to skateboard.


"Jim," Bones growled and Jim just continued to grin and laugh up at him. "iJames/i." He was doing that parent-thing, where they deluded themselves into thinking that if they said their kid's name enough, in just the right way it would somehow get the kid to listen. This, obviously, didn't work on Jim because he wasn't a kid nor did he ever do things like listen to Bones. He did contain his laughter, though, much to Bones' obvious satisfaction.

"Leonard," Jim repeated, pulling off that 'I cannot believe you've done this, I am so disappointed in you, young man' tone better than McCoy ever could. He put the talent towards the fact that he'd had it used against him more than Bones ever had, ever. Bones looked appropriately put-off by this. "I'm right here, completely at full attention. Please stop saying my name."

Bones grit his teeth at Jim and put his hands on his hips, looking every bit the disapproving father down at Jim. "Joanna told me you were teaching her how to skateboard!" he said completely flabbergasted. "I can't believe you! Do you know how dangerous skateboarding is?"

"No, but you're going to tell me, I'm sure," Jim sighed, lacing his fingers on his chest and settling in for the long haul.

"Don't give me that!" Bones snapped. "She's barely even nine and it's bad enough Jocelyn taught her how to ride a bike. Skateboarding is a hundred times worse! It encourages reckless behavior. Just now she was watching a vid about so called "professionals""—Bones made the air quotes and everything, so it wasn't Jim's fault when he started to laugh again—"doing insane, totally reckless stunts on these wooden ramps they give names like 'half-pike' and 'quarter pipes.'" Blessedly, Bones paused to catch his breath and Jim bit down on his laughter, trying to look innocent but failing. "Then there's the inames/i they give the tricks they perform!"

"Oh yeah?" Jim snorted and waved a hand in an 'go on' gesture. "What sorts of names?"

"Don't fuck with me, Jim," Bones all but hissed but then looked up guiltily at the barely shut garage door where the obvious sounds of Joanna watching TV just in the other room.

"Me? Never!"

"Shut up," Bones ordered and then continued with his rant. "They have trick names like 'grinding' and 'ollie' and 'kickflip.'" He made a particularly disgusted face at Jim. "Not to mention that the only way you can get anything like istatus/i in their fucked up little circle-jerks is if you're more suicidally inclined than everyone else to actually attempt these tricks, usually at nearly fifty feet in the air and usually resulting in failure!" His arms flew into the air about this and Jim knew Bones meant serious business if he was flinging limbs around. "It's no wonder you know how to skateboard, Jim," Bones all but spit his name, "considering that you're just as crazy to actually want to try and break your neck, or your back, leg, arm, ankle, wrist, shoulder or any combination of them."

2

Jim looked up into Bones' panting, righteous anger and did what he did best: charmed. "Bones," Jim said voice calm and soothing. "Nothing we did was in any way dangerous. I made sure, first and foremost that Joey wear a helmet and elbow pads—which, she actually insisted on, anyway, the intelligent gal that she is." He raised his eyebrows encouragingly as Bones shoulders inched down from where they had been up around his ears. "When we actually did get onto the skateboard," he patted the said plank of wood under his head, "we didn't do much more than try and get her to balance on it, which she did pretty well and never fell because I always caught her." Jim smiled and pressed his hand to his heart. "I promise, Dad."

Bones expression was much softer now, eyebrows no longer attempting crazy angles or his mouth pressed into a thin, uninviting line. Now he looked every bit the reassured and proud father Jim knew he was. "I still don't like her skateboarding," Bones insisted, still, but it was much less angry but no less firm. "At least not alone, next time tell me and—"

Realization clicked in Jim's mind and he chuckled. "That's it, is it?" he asked rhetorically. "You wanted me to teach you, too." Bones expression scrunched up into an attempt at denial, but Jim could see the telltale red colour overtaking his ears. "Aw, Bones! C'mere."

"Shuddap," his lover groaned even as he slid down to his knees in front of him. Jim smirked, reaching up and hooking his arms around Bones' neck. "It's stupid but I just…" Jim made encouraging noises and ran his fingers through Bones' hair, "I didn't get to teach Joanna to ride a bike, y'know?"

"I know, Bones," Jim said softly and sat up, pressing a kiss firm against Bones' forehead and then, upside down, against his lips. "I'm sorry. I really didn't teach her how to, just stood her on it and tried to get her to move." Bones chuckled slightly at this, against Jim's cheek. "You should help me, tomorrow, to finish teaching her. Sound good?"

"Sounds good."

Jim smiled and sent the skateboard skittering away, turning around to face Bones the right way. "Now, then," he said matter-of-factly with a lewd smirk. "Let me really make it up to you."

McCoy's ears burned red again. "Joanna is in the other room!" he said scandalized.

"Don't worry," Jim breathed against Bones' ear. "We'll be quiet."


End file.
